Written in May of 2006

Bush League
When Richard Nixon died, Hunter S. Thompson famously eulogized Nixon with a disparaging essay published in Rolling Stone. Thompson wrote that Nixon was a weasel, and that he (Hunter) was glad he was dead. Hunter wrote that he hated Nixon and the world was better that Tricky Dick had kicked the bucket.
About ten years later, my man Hunter spoke longingly of the Nixon years, and would have gladly voted for Nixon over Bush II. I'm with Hunter. When Bush stole the Presidency in '00, my Dad told me that, at the very least, the counter culture has something they can finally agree on again. If only we had known.
Nixon felt the press was against him. He was right. Bush probably feels the same way, but its not saying a lot when he has his own news network that issues terror level warnings every time he goes down in the polls. And go down he will. Say what you want about us Americans, eventually we see a sinking ship for what it is. And Bush is a rat on that ship if there ever was one.

Those who believe war is wrong are now squarely on the same side with those who believe war enlightens.
David Crosby and Andrew Sullivan now agree on Iraq.
Jackson Browne and William F. Buckley now agree on Iraq.
Pat Buchanan and Michael Moore now agree on Iraq.
David Duke and Jesse Jackson now agree on Iraq.
You read that last line correctly.
I daresay my nemesis, Dr. Clyde Root (a Nixon lover both figuratively and literally) and I agree on Iraq.
Everybody I know hates Bush II. I've got a cousin in Egypt that hates Bush II. My grandmother (who voted for Nixon because Kennedy was Catholic) hates Bush II. I've got uncles in Saipan, the Florida Keys, Montana, and jail that hate Bush II. My brother Dan (who is mentally handicapped) wanted to vote for George Bush in '04. That says a lot. Our families' mutual hatred for Bush was evidenced when nobody would give him a ride to the polls.
I used to call Bush II the new Nixon. I was wrong. Beelzabub, or Adolph, maybe. But not Nixon. When my wife and two year old son protested Bush's speech at my former high school, she was sent 1/2 mile away from the television cameras. People are regularly arrested who have the audacity to express their disagreement.
When I found out the bastard was speaking at my alma mater, Bethel College, I wrote to the Dean expressing my disappointment. My guess is the letter was tracked and I'm on this generations "enemies list" with anyone with an IQ over 60 and the balls to admit it.
Bush came to Bethel to raise funds for one of his demons, Chris Chocola. At the speech, Bush didn't pronounce Chocola's name correctly. My guess is he confused the spelling with Count Chocula of breakfast cereal fame. I could teach a math lesson in whole number percentages about how much air gets through Bush's excrement in Chocola's nasal passages.
Bethel, a school for Christian Conservatives, embraced Bush II as the judgement and intervention of Christ himself. Now that Bush II has instituted a Shiite theocracy in Iraq, they are silent. I suspect even those at Bethel now think maybe killing three quarters of a million people might be contrary to the gospel.
I hated country music before Bush. I still pretty much hate now, but I have a new respect (and amorous attraction) for the Dixie Chicks. If for no other reason, these women showed more balls than every Democrat to the right of Robert Byrd and Russ Feingold.
Yet, there are those who still love him. They are the same people who would rather go to Sea World than the ocean. Who laugh at art because they don't undertstand it right away. They are the same people that believe Wal Marts are a good thing for local economies.
They are the same people that believe we science teachers should give equal time to the "theory" of creationism. Who honestly think they are being patriotic by ordering "freedom fries." These are the people that believe Hillary Clinton is part of a vast conspiracy to funnel money to the Chinese. (She is, but that's beside the point.)
I'd take Nixon in a New York minute over Bush II. Nixon, asshole that he was, had at least the credentials to be in the office. Bush has nothing of the sort. Not only doesn't he have the credentials, he didn't even have the votes the first time.
Nixon authored several books. Bush relishes in the fact that he doesn't like to read. Nixon went to China. Ask Bush II about Red China, and he says it goes well with a purple tablecloth.
George Bush II makes Nixon look like a great statesman. He makes Ford look smart. He makes Carter look saintly. He makes Reagan look fiscally responsible. He makes Clinton look moral, and he makes his Dad, a fourth rate coat tail loser of a President if there ever was one, look downright Jeffersonian.
People criticized Nixon for the illegal and immoral bombing of Cambodia. To this I answer: Yeah, but at least he did it in secret. He knew it was wrong so he tried to hide it. Bush knew attacking Iraq was wrong from the start and he did it in plain sight. After covering his ass by getting congressional approval from the pussy-whipped Democrats, of course.
Bush's lackeys (Cheney, Ashcroft, Rove, and Rice) make Nixon, Agnew, Hoover, and Kissinger look like the writers of the four Gospels.
Dick Cheney is Bush's vice president. Cheney, a twice-convicted drunk driver, granted a 7 billion dollar no-bid contract to his own company, Halliburton, to build a country he helped destroy in the first place. Dick Cheney shot a friend in the face while hunting. Not that I mind a friend of Dick Cheney's being shot in the face at all. My own guess is the guy who got shot questioned Cheney's motives in the "canned" (read: paid for like in "The Most Dangerous Game") hunt. Cheney's crowning accomplishment? Saying "Go fuck yourself!" to Senator Patrick Leahy on the floor of the Senate. Leahy should have kicked his ass right then and there. During the Katrina debacle, a passerby whispered the same thing to Cheney himself. The passerby was arrested for disturbing the peace.
Karl Rove is Bush's political advisor. Rove had the audacity to portray John Kerry, a man who limps because of shrapnel in his leg, as a coward. A coward compared to, Bush, a man who spent his collegiate years high. Granted, I spent my college years high, too, but I'm not running for President. Rove (*and his lover, Dick Armitage)committed pure treason by outing a CIA agent. The agent's crime? She had the audacity to be married to someone who didn't believe we should go to war based on lies.
Ashcroft spent every morning kneeling on the carpeting of the capitol dome (which we all, Chrsitian and nonchristian alike, paid for). Ashcroft makes J. Edgar Hoover look like St. Francis of Assisi.(Assuming, of course, that one pictures St. Francis in an evening gown and love cuffs.) Ashcroft spied on everyone who disagreed with him. His odious "USA Patriot Act" is nothing of the sort. The real patriots respect rights of privacy. The Patriot Act hasn't foiled one terrorist cell whatsoever. It has, however, allowed the government to inspect what books you check out at the library. Bob Guccione has more class.
Condi Rice made sure she attended the opening of Spamalot as her fellow African Americans were starving in New Orleans. Condi gives Larry Flynt more ammunition than anyone on Nixon's staff ever did. The only woman I know of who is more of a disgrace to women (and people who like to read, and people who think in general, for that matter) is Laura Bush. Bush's wife is from Stepford, Conneticut. I'm sure of it.
And then there's Bush himself. Nixon of our generation? Hardly. He's a class unto himself.